


Exhuman

by dibvoid (mxrbidly)



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, At One Point Dib Wears A Muzzle, Biting, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood Play, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Delusions, Depression, Dib Is Not A Good Person, Dib is Of Legal Age (Invader Zim), Dog Walker!Dib, Everyone Thinks Dib Is Crazy, Fake Science, First Time, Force-Feeding, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Animal Death, Grinding, Hallucinations, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Bulimia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Intrusive Thoughts, Kinda, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Made Up Science, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Not Beta Read, Not ETF Compliant, Not in a kinky way, Obsessive Behavior, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Dib (Invader Zim), POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Praise Kink, Repressed Memories, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Starvation, Starving, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teasing, Trust Issues, Underage Drinking, Unhappy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Vampires, Xenophilia, ZaDr, Zim Loves GIR, biting kink, delusional character, depending on how you look at it, frenemies to lovers, he might be, implied/referenced eating disorder, too many tags, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-24 09:40:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxrbidly/pseuds/dibvoid
Summary: “This wasn’t supposed to happen to him.He was Dib, Defender of Earth!Heroes always won.”After a traumatic experience, Dib is convinced he’s been turned into a bloodthirsty vampire.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 125





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: If you haven’t looked at the tags yet, please do so before reading. This fic is dark and upsetting. Please don’t read if you think it might harm your mental health.

“Idiot child!” Dib winced at the hot breath on his face. “Trying to kill _me?_” The creature had its hands wrapped around Dib’s neck, holding him against a tree. The rough bark dug into the human’s back, ripping his trenchcoat. “Pathetic!” Dib squirmed, trying to free himself from the monster’s grasp. His hands pulled at his enemy’s wrists, but it was useless. It was stronger than he was. He kicked out his feet, but that also did nothing.

_No! No, no, no. It can’t end like this! _

“I gotta admit though...You’ve got balls.” It purred, its face moving to the crook of his neck, breathing deep. “No human has challenged me in a very long time.” It adjusted its hands, exposing some of the skin. Dib kicked out again, desperate to get away, but to no avail. “You’re very strong. Even now, you haven’t accepted your fate.” Dib struggled to cry out, but the hands around his neck kept his voice from escaping. There was just enough pressure to make it hard to breathe. The creature’s tongue stroked the available skin, right where Dib was sure it could feel his pulse pounding. He wanted to throw up. “You’re a fighter, all right. It’s such a shame I have to kill you…” The monster hummed in thought. “Unless...I don’t.” Its face came back into view so that Dib could see the wicked grin spread across its face. The human clenched his teeth, yanking hard at the fingers wrapped around him.

“N...nng!” He grunted, continuing to struggle with everything he had. He didn’t like the way that sounded. Not kill him? What else could it want? If only he hadn’t dropped his knife. If only he could reach his bag and grab his gun. Both things were laying several feet away from him. There was no way to get to them. “Nnng!”

“What’s that?” The monster cooed. “Are you trying to say something?” It relaxed its grip just a little bit, lowering Dib so that his booted feet could touch the forest floor again. He took a big gulp of air now that his airway wasn’t as obstructed.

“You...talk too...much…” Dib panted. He wanted to say more, but the creature growled, retightening its grip on his neck, lifting him up again. Then it laughed at him, spittle flecking his face.

“Still so cocky!” It chuckled, leaning back in to lick at his neck again. Dib shuddered. “It’s pretty impressive actually. You don’t smell nearly as scared as you should be. Don’t you realize your position right now?” It suckled softly on his skin, making him whimper. Then it dragged its fangs along his neck, biting down just enough to make a mark, but not enough to make him bleed. “I could do so many different things to you, boy.” It whispered, and Dib felt sick.

“N..no…” He managed to choke out, once again trying and failing to pry the fingers from his neck. He stopped flailing his legs to close them tightly, crossing his ankles to lock them together.

“Oh, please.” The monster grumbled. “I could kill you… That would be the easiest and obvious solution. I could take you home with me, bleed you for weeks until you die from bad health or whatever…” It inhaled his scent again before going back to lick at his skin. “That would save me the trouble of having to hunt for a bit.” Again, it added its sharp teeth into the mix. “But…” It finally bit down hard enough to sink its teeth into Dib’s flesh, but instead of pain, it felt like being injected with some sort of powerful drug. The human reluctantly fell limp, finally stopping his struggle. The monster released him, and Dib fell to the ground, slumping down against the tree. He took deep breaths, and with a lot of effort lifted his head to glare at the creature’s face. It smiled at him and wiped a bit of Dib’s blood from the corner of its mouth. “You taste absolutely _delicious_.” It praised him, bending down to brush the long lock of hair from the human’s face. “Better than most humans. You’re very healthy.” It crawled over him on its hands and knees to bite at his neck again, but Dib couldn’t find the strength to fend off the assailant.

“Please…” Dib murmured. “Stop…” It was all he could do. In response, the monster sank its teeth in deeper, causing pain despite whatever weird effect had overcome his body. Maybe it was like a spider bite, he wondered. He’d probably never get the chance to research the matter further, and that thought made tears prick at his eyes.

_I don’t want to die!_

Weakly, Dib pushed on the creature’s chest. He could feel himself shaking, quivering, but could not bring himself to stop. His stomach churned and sweat dripped down his forehead.

“Not so strong now, hm?” It teased, its face coming back into view. Dib groaned at the sight of his own blood dripping from its lips and down its chin. “Don’t worry. I’ve made up my mind.” It took off his glasses, which were already partially knocked off, and swiped with its thumb beneath his eyes. “Don’t cry.” It cooed sweetly.

“Don’t kill me…” Dib heard himself say without thinking. The monster gazed down at him with blue eyes. It almost looked human.

_Almost._

“I won’t. I’m going to do something _much_ worse.” It grinned above him, and a drop of his own blood dripped onto Dib’s cheek. “Don’t worry, human.” It ran its tongue across its teeth. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know.” It brought one of its wrists up to its mouth and bit down, drawing blood. Both Dib and the creature watched the blood trickle down its arm.

“What are you…?” The human trailed off when the monster brought the wounded wrist up to Dib’s lips. It pushed against his mouth, and the young paranormal investigator was overcome with a new kind of fear.

_What is it doing? What is it doing?!_

Dib kept his lips sealed tightly and tried to turn his head away, but the creature used its other hand to roughly grip his jaw and hold him in place. It dug the nail of its thumb into his skin as it squeezed.

“Open.” It demanded.

“Mm-mm…” Dib closed his eyes tightly, trying to think. There had to be a way out of this. The human tried pushing the monster away again, but he couldn’t work up his strength. His body felt like jelly.

_ “Open!”_ It hissed again, squeezing his jaw so hard Dib was sure it would bruise. It shoved its bleeding wrist down on his mouth harder, forcing his lips apart and rubbing against his clenched teeth.

_It wants me to drink its blood._

Tears fell steadily down his cheeks. The bark of the tree was forming welts on the back of his head, the winter air nipped at his skin, and the bite on his neck felt numb. He didn’t know what to _do_. He’d encountered a lot of cryptids in his life, but on none of those occasions had he ever been this close to his demise. Was it actually going to kill him? Its words made him confused; he wasn’t sure anymore. The lore on such a creature was very skewed. Still, drinking its blood couldn’t be good regardless of what the monster’s intentions were.

“It’ll feel good.” It promised him, continuing to rub its wrist against his teeth. “Just..._open_...” It used the hand holding his jaw to start prying his mouth open. Dib screamed, trying to bite down on the intruding fingers. If he was doing any damage the creature didn’t let him know it. The human used every single drop of adrenaline he had left to fight against the monster. He kicked out his legs, but he could hardly lift them off the ground. He beat on the creatures chest, but it didn’t even flinch. He gnashed his teeth but that only resulted in the monster finally managing to jam its wrist into his mouth. Its blood dripped down his throat and he wanted to gag, but he found himself swallowing it down. His teeth sunk into the monster’s flesh, and to his horror, he began sucking on the wound. “Good...that’s not so bad, is it?” The creature pet its fingers through his hair. Dib breathed hard through his nose. His throat burned but his belly felt warm, almost like he’d downed a few shots of vodka. His brain reeled. What was happening?

_Is it turning me?!_

That thought sent a fresh wave of panic through his mind, and the tears fell harder. This was one of his worst fears. Losing his humanity. He never really had any friends other than his little sister, Gaz, unless you counted Zim, but he wasn’t human, and their friendship was still up for debate. His peers hated him growing up and even now they only tolerated him because he stopped yelling about aliens and other conspiracies all the time. His father was disappointed in him, and everyone thought he was crazy. He didn’t understand social norms, and he was far more intelligent than the rest of society. Really, the only thing that ever connected Dib to the rest of humanity was the fact that he was human too. And now he was losing that. Other than Zim destroying Earth, he couldn’t fathom a worse fate for himself.

“Drink up, boy.” The monster encouraged him, as if it was his choice. In response Dib growled as best a human could. It was all he could do to show his displeasure. His mouth sucked on the monster’s wound desperately, as if its blood were some form of nourishment and Dib was starving. He hated it. Dib had had a lot of awful, horrible things happen to him. From being tricked into thinking he’d lived his entire life only for it to be a sick simulation made by Zim, to being sent to the local asylum _over, and over, and over again_, to finding out he was his father’s _failed clone_… Dib was no stranger to pain, both physical and emotional. _This_ was definitely up there on his list of worsts.

After what felt like a lifetime, the creature pulled away, taking its arm out of his mouth. Dib hardly registered the change. He let his head hang limp, chin against his chest. This wasn’t supposed to happen to him.

He was _Dib_, Defender of Earth!

Heroes _always_ won.

And he _was_ a hero. After all, he did come out there to bravely defend his town from a vicious vampire.

He could hear the creature rummaging around in something a short distance from him, but this time he found himself unable to lift his head to see what was happening. He squeezed his eyes shut. It felt like the world was spinning. His mouth tasted like metal. Like blood. Like doom. His tears had stopped. He was beyond his emotions at that point, his brain choosing to repress them instead of dealing with them.

“This your gun?” The monster moved to stand in front of him again. Dib didn’t answer. It must have went through his bag. “I’ve never seen one like it before.” Well, _yeah_. He’d stolen it from Zim, it was irken tech. “Where do you even put the bullets?”

“Doesn’t…take bullets…” Dib slurred, spit and blood dripping from his lips.

“Interesting. You’ll have to show me how to use it sometime.”

“Fuck…you…” He earned himself a rough kick to the ribs and fell to his side, curling in on himself.

“Show some respect. I could have killed you, but I sparred your life.”

“Did you…turn me?” Dib asked, his right cheek pressed into the dirt of the forest floor.

“It’s a process.” It replied vaguely. “The venom should start to wear off soon. Afterwards we can head back to where I’ve been staying, feed you…” Icy dread spread all throughout Dib, ending at the tips of his fingers. “How do you feel?”

“I feel like slitting your throat.” He spat, turning to lay on his back.

“Because that’s what I did?” It stood over him, a foot planted on either side of his hips. “You want revenge for your fallen humans?” It smiled. “Did I kill someone you knew? Is that why you hunted me?” It leaned down, eyes wide and manic looking. It wasn’t the reason, actually. Like most things Dib did, he had done it because he felt like he had to. It was a part of his duty, just like stopping Zim from taking over Earth. But, yes. He did want to slit the monsters throat because that’s what it had done to four other people, before draining their blood. Even if it hadn’t done that, he’d still want to kill it.

Because now it was personal.

“No.” Dib answered, meeting its gaze.

“Shame. Would have made this ten times funnier.” It licked its tongue across the front of its teeth and chuckled lowly. “You know what I meant, though. How do you feel physically?” Dib hesitated. He still felt weak, like his bones had been hollowed out and would most likely break under pressure. But his strength was starting to come back, he could tell. His head was fuzzy. The monster hadn’t given him back his glasses, so it was hard to see. It looked down at him expectantly, Dib could barely make out its facial expressions. “Can you sit up?” It stepped away from him, off to the side. Yes, Dib thought he probably could if he tried, but he had to weigh his options.

If he cooperated with the vampire it probably wouldn’t kill him. If he tried to fight it again it might. He’d let it best him even when he hadn’t been under the influence of its venom, what made him think he could take it now? Because he was Dib?

Because he was _Dib! Defender of Earth!_

Because he was a hero! Everything always worked out for _heroes!_

“I can’t.” He lied, staring at the treetops. It was night time, very dark. No one knew where he was. Gaz knew he was out investigating, but she didn’t know what, and she didn’t know where. He was an hour from home. He’d driven there in his car, which he’d parked by the side of the road before delving into the forest he’d scouted many times before. No one was there to help him. If he died, his body would probably rot and decompose before ever being found.

_Think, Dib! Think!_

“That’s fine, I’ll wait. But you’d better shape up fast. Soon you’re gonna start getting hungry, which _won’t _be fun.” It warned. Dib didn’t want to think about that.

I_ will **never**_ _drink from a human being._

He promised himself. Still, the creature had a point. He couldn’t stall forever. He had to make a decision soon. But what to do? He brought a hand up to wipe the blood and spit from his mouth before letting it flop back down to the ground.

“What’s your name?” Asked the monster, sounding genuinely curious.

“_Fuck you._” Dib said once more. He winced and closed his eyes, expecting to be kicked again. He was right. The creature jabbed the toe of its boot into his ribs, rougher this time. Dib coughed and sputtered, holding himself in the fetal position.

“What’s wrong with you?” It asked, and Dib let out a choked laugh. How funny! The blood sucking monster thought he was the weird one. It kicked him again, eliciting a pained whimper from the high schooler. “I let you live!” It growled. “Sure, I gave you the worst infliction in the history of _ever_, but I even said I would feed you!” Another kick. “I politely asked your name! Like a _human!_” Kick. “Stupid.” Kick. “_Stupid _child.” It gave him one last hard kick to the abdomen. Dib kept his eyes shut, taking shaky breaths. “Do you want to know _my_ name?” No, he didn’t. He didn’t care. He curled further in on himself, wishing he could disappear. Wishing this were all just some sick nightmare.

_What do I do?!_

He expected the monster to tell him its name, but instead it shined a light on his face. He opened his eyes, squinting. Was that his phone? It must have gotten it from his bag, like the gun. The gun was in its other hand.

“I already know your name anyway. Just thought I’d offer you the chance to tell me yourself.” The light stopped blinding him. The monster was looking at the screen, holding it up to its face, illuminating its blue eyes. “It’s Dib, right? D-I-B. Someone name Gaz, G-A-Z, texted you. Sounds upset. Did you eat the last piece of pizza?” Dib said nothing. “She your girlfriend?”

“None of your business.” He responded, uncurling his body. He sat up, swallowing down a cry of pain.

_It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._

“Oh?” It clicked his phone off, stuffing it in its pants pocket. “Feeling any better?”

“Peachy.”

“Watch your tone.” It used its free hand to grab his upper arm, wrenching Dib to his feet. He almost fell, but the creature held him steady. He eyed the gun. “Don’t try anything, boy.” It said, pointing the wrong side at him. He felt sick and woozy, but didn’t complain when the monster dragged him over to his discarded bag. It was unzipped, some of his other belongings sitting around it. The creature pointed to the first aid kit in the grass. “Clean that bite up.” It ordered. Dib’s hand shot to his neck, clapping over the wound. He’d almost forgotten. His hand came away wet and sticky. Wiping the blood on his pants, he sat down down in front of the kit, the monster letting go of his arm to allow it. “I’m sad I won’t get to taste you again.” It sighed.

“What’s stopping you?” Dib’s voice was gruff and dangerous.

“Vampirism is a disease.” It said, to Dib’s surprise. He hadn’t expected to receive any information from it, despite asking. “Diseased blood tastes disgusting.” It patted his head as if he were a dog, then it leaned down to whisper in his ear. “I _made_ you disgusting.” Dib had to resist the urge to whip around and punch it. His hands shook as they dug through the kit, pulling out gauze and disinfectant. He poured peroxide on a cotton ball and pressed it to his wound, hissing under his breath at the stinging sensation. He dabbed at it with a dry piece of cotton ball before looking around for some medical tape. He found it underneath the bandaids. Pressing the gauze onto the bite, he taped it down. After he put everything back in the first aid kit, he started collecting the items strewn about the ground and putting them back into his bag, acutely aware of the eyes watching his every move. After he had picked up everything he could see, he patted around himself blindly, knowing there was a good chance he had missed something without his glasses. He froze when his palm pressed down on cold metal.

And then he woke up, immediately throwing up red, pungent bile into his lap.


	2. Wake From A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib wakes up in Zim’s base to find a concerning chunk of his memory missing.

Dib’s head spun as he heaved, the taste of metal and stomach acid on his tongue. There was a hand on his back, rubbing in gentle circles. He whimpered, the muscles in his stomach clenching and unclenching. Finally he managed to stop and take deep, gasping breaths. He looked up to see where he was.

_Zim’s base?_

He was in Zim’s living room, on his couch…wrapped in a blanket. He looked to his left to see Zim, standing awkwardly with his hands fisted in his clothes.

“Dib-human…” He said, and it was the addition of the word _human_ that sent Dib spiraling, remembering what had taken place the night prior. He rolled off the couch and onto the floor, tossing away the puke covered blanket in the process. Zim took a surprised step back.

“Zim! What? How did I get here? Where’s—“ Zim cut him off before he could continue.

“Silence! Stop freaking out, it’s gross!” He squawked, pulling a disgusted face.

“Zim, _what happened?” _Dib held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to assess himself. He wasn’t in much pain, which was strange. Wait, how long was he out?

“You’ve been asleep for fifty-two hours.” Zim said, as if he could read Dib’s mind. “Is your memory damaged?” Dib looked up, seeing Zim standing over him. He wasn’t in his disguise. He was wearing a purple hoodie and his usual leggings, boots, and gloves.

“I don’t remember how I got here…” Dib replied, wiping his mouth on his hand, making the germaphobic alien grimace.

“The Dib showed up on Zim’s doorstep with heinous injuries.” He recounted. “You were delirious so I sedated you.” Dib ghosted his hands over his torso, which was without a shirt. He had bandages wrapped around his ribs, but when he pressed down it didn’t hurt.

“Did you heal me?” Dib inquired, shocked.

“…Yes, I did. You had two broken ribs, twenty-six open wounds of varying sizes, and heavy bruising on your torso, face, and neck. An easy fix with irken technology, of course.” Zim squinted one eye and gave Dib a calculating look. “You should be fine.” Then he went back to nervously fisting his hands in the fabric of his hoodie. “Do you…feel fine?” He asked, head turning away so Dib could no longer see his face.

_No, I’m terrified._

_ “_Yeah, uh…Thanks, Zim.” He lied, slowly standing up to his full height. He towered over Zim, who hadn’t grown at all since Dib had known him. The small alien didn’t even come up to Dib’s chest, something the six foot three man knew Zim hated.

“The corpse you brought is in the lab…if you, eh, need it?”

_The WHAT?!_ ** **

“Corpse?!” Dib shrieked, and Zim pulled his antennae back against his head. “Corpse?!”

“If you would use your ears to _listen _to Zim speak, I could elaborate!” The irken growled, stamping his foot. Dib groaned, once again clutching his head. He really needed to get a grip. He needed to find out exactly what happened. How he wound up at Zim’s, whatever the _fuck _this corpse business was, and whether or not he was a _vampire! _Panicked by his last thought, he ran his tongue along his teeth.

…Nothing. They felt normal. But the vampire from last night had razor sharp fangs…

“Zim does not know why the Dib-beast brought a dead human, but I’ve kept it safe downstairs since I assumed you needed it. Humans do not typically kill each other, as I’ve learned over the years, despite appearances. You weren’t very intelligible last we spoke, so I just did what I thought you were trying to tell me. Which was that you needed to run some tests…?”

“It wasn’t a human…” Dib muttered, taking in what Zim said. He could only assume the corpse was that of the vampire, the monster that had—

_Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it._

Dib shuddered, sitting down on the couch.

_Get ahold of yourself!_

“I killed it?” Dib croaked, hugging himself as a sharp chill uncoiled in his belly.

“From what I could tell.” Zim shifted from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable. He wondered why he hadn’t been kicked out yet. “Six stab wounds to the front. Four in the chest, two in the abdomen.”

_I did that?_

The chill spread, filling him up quickly and causing the hair on his arms and neck to stand on end. Zim had a look Dib couldn’t read. His red-pink eyes almost seemed to glow in the dim light, complimenting his smooth green skin.

“What happened, Dib?” He questioned, and Dib abruptly stood back up.

“Get rid of it.”

“What?”

“The body.”

“But Zim thought you needed—“

“Forget whatever I said before. Just…I don’t want anything to do with it.” He looked around with blurry vision. “Where’s my stuff?”

“If you go around killing people, other humans might think you’re an alien.” The irken huffed, clearly not wanting to let it go. “This is because it is not socially acceptable for your kind to take each other’s lives, unless it is by legal execution or on the battlefield.” He went on, catching Dib’s bag as it fell from the ceiling, presumably the computer’s doing.

“I don’t want to _talk_ about it either.” The taller boy said coldly, taking his belongings from Zim’s arms. He set the bag on the couch and unzipped it, peaking inside to see if everything was accounted for. His missing shirt was in there, along with his coat, both folded nicely.

_What’s up with him? He’s being nicer than normal._

He picked up his phone, which he was surprised to find. It had a shattered screen, and wouldn’t turn on, not even to show a dead battery sign. It must be busted. He put it back down and shuffled through the rest of his stuff. It was mostly survival gear like water bottles, small snacks, matches, the first aid kit and a fire starter. There was also a flashlight and batteries, a disposable camera, and flare. Then there were the weird items like the empty needle made for drawing blood, the scalpel, rubber gloves, eye dropper, and sample slides. His glasses were there, one lens cracked, the other missing. Hm.

“Where’s my knife?” He turned around. “And gun.”

“You mean _Zim’s _gun?” The alien hissed, crossing his arms. “You cannot have that back!” He reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out Dib’s trusty pocket knife. “But here is your primitive weapon.” He tossed it at Dib, who caught it clumsily before holding it up to his face. He flicked it open, catching his reflection in the shiny blade. It was sparkling clean, not a stain on it.

_Seriously, what gives?_

Zim was definitely being nicer. He looked down at the small alien curiously, squinting a bit to make him out without his glasses.

“Thanks…” He mumbled, clicking the knife’s blade back into place and hiding it away in his back pocket. “Zim, besides bringing back a corpse, did I do anything else weird when I showed up?”

“You cried a lot.” The smaller boy scrunched up his face, almost like he was trying to mimic someone wrinkling their nose. “It was disgusting.” Dib felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

_Crying in front of your nemesis. Nice one._

“Oh.” Dib said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He’d have time to worry about Zim and his unusual hospitality later. If he’d been asleep for fifty-two hours that meant he hadn’t been home in…just over two and a half days. “Shit,” he looked out one of Zim’s windows. It was dark outside. Okay, cool, good. “What time is it?”

“3:01 in the morning.” Zim answered without missing a beat. Dib was pretty sure the alien’s PAK contained an internal clock. He opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when—

His stomach growled.

The sharp chill, which had begun to fade, returned at full force. He gulped, inhaling deep through his nose, and out through his mouth.

“Dib?” Zim’s voice was distant, far away. Suddenly he was shrouded in darkness. The room was too big, completely empty, and water pressed in on him from all sides, suffocating, crushing him. He gasped for air, but he was drowning, _drowning! _Invisible hands closed around his arms and legs, holding him in place. The sound of static filled his ears, and his heart hammered in his chest. It beat faster and faster, surly it would burst! He stared straight ahead, eyes wide but unseeing. There was nothing to see.

**SMACK!**

He was on his knees, one hand clutching his stinging cheek. Zim’s hand was raised, ready to strike him again.

“Filthy pig-smell!” The irken hissed. “What is wrong with you?!” He lowered his hand when he realized he would not have to slap Dib again, and took a step back.

“I have to go.” Dib murmured, ignoring the alien’s question and using the couch as leverage to stand back up. He readjusted his bag and made for the front door.

“Dib-thing!” Zim called after him. “You did not tell Zim what—“ But Dib didn’t let him finish, he slammed the door behind him and promptly slumped against the other side of it, shuddering at the cold air on his bare chest. For a moment it was silent, but then he heard Zim start fuming inside his base, the alien’s shrill voice making Dib’s eye twitch. After a few minutes Zim’s yelling was joined by a screeching GIR, so Dib decided he’d be better off inside his Honda, which was sitting in Zim’s driveway. He had no idea how he’d managed to drive from the forest to his nemesis’ place if he had really been in as bad a shape as Zim had said, especially without the aid of his glasses. He knocked a knuckle against the side of his skull, as if that might jog his memory, and climbed inside his car, tossing his bag into the passenger seat and noticing his keys were still in the ignition.

Two and a half days…That meant it was Monday, which meant he had shit to do. Dib groaned, resting his forehead against the steering wheel. He really didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to go home and go back sleep, forget about the world. Forget about vampires, and defective aliens, and his responsibilities.

_Tough shit._

He sighed and started the engine, squinting in the dark.

_Today’s gonna fucking suck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not the happiest with this chapter, mostly because what it adds to the plot won’t be relevant until much later. Anyway, Dib is finally going back home. Next chapter we’ll explore how Dib’s home life has affected him growing up, and how it’s changed. We’ll also start to see the effects of what the vampire did to him.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib makes it home and is confronted by a worried Gaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My twitter is @mxrbidly if you’re interested! I sometimes post sneak peaks of this fic as well as notify you when it updates! I also post my nsfw art so it’s a pretty fun place.
> 
> I wanted to finish this chapter yesterday but I’m in the middle of moving into my new house so things have been a bit hectic, my apologies!
> 
> Enjoy!

The first thing Dib did when he got home was storm upstairs into his and Gaz’s shared bathroom. He stripped quickly, taking off his combat boots, socks and jeans, leaving himself in his boxers. Finally, he turned to face his reflection in the mirror and—

An ordinary human boy stared back at him.

_Ugly, disgusting, putrid._

He leaned against the marble countertop, coming nose to nose with his reflection. This close he could see without his glasses, so he studied the amber eyes locked with his.

_Unfamiliar, manufactured._

He narrowed his eyes, and his reflection did the same.

Logically, Dib knew he was looking at himself. However, the boy that peered at Dib through the glass appeared to him, as always, a stranger.

His eyes dropped to his neck, where the vampire had bit him. Despite Zim’s healing, it seemed the wound had left a horrific scar. He could clearly see where the fangs had sunk into him, and Dib had to tear his eyes away lest he go into another panic attack, like he had at Zim’s.

_Oh, yeah. Nice one by the way._

“Shut up…” He muttered, again locking eyes with his reflection.

_ “Or what? You’ll cry?”_

xxx

He stood in front of the refrigerator anxiously. He had a fresh change of clothes on, hair still wet from his shower, and his spare pair of glasses perched on his nose. His hand held the handle of the fridge, ready to pull the door open, but not yet doing so. The clock on the microwave read 4:32 AM.

_This is ridiculous, just open it._

He didn’t budge.

_You have to find out._

Dib gulped.

_I have to find out._

Just as he was about to open the refrigerator, someone turned on the light. He whirled around, hand snapping away from the handle as if he’d been burned.

“G-Gaz!” He sputtered, taking in his sister’s appearance. The purple-haired girl was still in her pajamas, which consisted of a tank top with the words ‘recharging’ printed on it and a pair of sweatpants. Her arms were crossed, an unimpressed look her face. “Why are you up?”

“It’s five o’clock.” She responded with an exasperated sigh. Dib looked at the microwave and sure enough, Gaz was right. Huh.

“Oh, uh, right.” He moved aside when Gaz approached him, and cringed when she opened the fridge, taking another large step back.

“So, where have you been?” She questioned, grabbing the milk.

“Out.” Gaz turned around, carton in hand, and fixed her tired eyes on her brother. She glared at first, but when she noticed the puffy scarring on Dib’s neck, she sucked in a breath and closed the distance between them.

“Fuck, Dib.” She growled, tugging him down by the collar of his shirt so she could get a closer look. “What is _this?”_

“A scar.” He held his breath as she traced along the angry marks on his skin.

“No shit, Einstein! What the hell, man?” Gaz dragged him to the kitchen table and shoved him down into a chair, setting the milk in front of him. After grabbing two bowls and spoons and a box of cheerios from the cabinet, she took the chair next to him for herself and began fixing the easy breakfast. The idea of eating made him remember he was hungry, and he had to fight back another bout of rising panic. “Here.” Said Gaz, scooting one bowl over to him. “Are you going to explain yourself, or what?” She shoved a spoonful of sugary breakfast into her mouth.

_What do I say?_

Dib took his spoon hesitantly and swirled it around in his milk. Gaz was his sister, his best friend. He could trust her, right? She’d never done anything to betray his trust before, never lying or telling his secrets. And, _boy_, did he tell her a lot of secrets. Somehow, this felt different.

_No one will believe you. She’ll call you crazy._

No, that wasn’t true. Gaz never called him crazy. She was the only one.

He swallowed dryly and dropped the spoon.

“I found a vampire.” Dib confessed, staring at his cereal. “It bit me, obviously.” Gaz grunted, a sign to go on.

_Tell her nothing!_

He told her everything. Well, _almost _everything. From how he’d started paying attention to the news reports of a killer draining their victims’ blood, to piecing it all together, figuring out its routine, stalking it, making sure, _absolutely sure_he was right. When he got to the part where he’d gone into the forest he’d been to _so many times _because he suspected the vampire might be hiding out there, his throat closed up, and it took some coaxing from Gaz to continue. He explained he didn’t want to encounter it, just maybe find _evidence _of it. He described how it had snuck up on him from behind and disarmed him. He cried as he told her that it made him drink its blood, how horrible it felt. He explained that he couldn’t remember what happened after he found his knife on the ground, and how he’d apparently gone to Zim, who had healed him.

He left out the part where he _might _have been turned into a vampire.

He held his head in his hands, cereal forgotten. His sister was silent. When Dib looked up, he saw the most horrified expression he’d ever seen on his little sister’s face. Her lips were parted, as if she had words she wanted to say but was holding back.

“You said you somehow made it to Zim’s.” She eventually said, breaking the heavy silence.

Dib nodded.

“But you don’t remember how.” She said it as a fact, not a question. Her demeanor darkened, hands leaving the table to fall in her lap, clasping together. “Dib.”

_Ah, can’t get past her! Hahahahaha!_

_ “_Stop laughing…” He breathed, quiet so his sister could not hear.

“Dib, where’s the killer?” She interrogated.

_Hahahahaha!_

_ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutUP—!!_

“Uh.” He said, intelligently.

Images of its body, its body that looked just like a human’s, flooded his head. They switched quickly to visions of bloody hands, a bloody knife, his own face with a manic grin spread across it.

He had stabbed the vampire, Zim said. Six times. Four times in the chest. Two in the abdomen. He’d used his own knife. The same knife that was currently in his back pocket, cleaned to perfection.

He’d never killed anything before…

When he was younger he used to go poke at road kill, shoving spilt organs around with a stick. The first time his father caught him messing with a dead squirrel by their driveway, the professor hadn’t scolded Dib like the eight year old thought he would, but instead brought him into his lab where a dead body lay on an autopsy table. Dib was nervous to look at it, but his father pulled back the already cut skin on the dead woman’s chest with confidence, encouraging him to peer inside. Her ribs had been cut with a bone saw, and her heart was missing. When Dib asked where it was, his father gestured to a metal bowl on a nearby surgical table. The body’s heart sat in the middle of it, and Dib felt his own speed up in his chest at the sight of the organ. There were more bowls and trays on the table, each one occupied by a different part of the human body. His dad spent the rest of the evening showing Dib how autopsies and dissections were done, telling him how happy he was that Dib was interested in biology. It was one of the few nice memories he had of his dad. After that, many nights were spent on Dib’s computer, clicking link after link of videos and articles on dissection and the anatomy of different organisms. It was strange how every creature was so different but yet still so similar on the inside.

He started bringing home the dead animals he found to cut open, inspired.

Yes, Dib had seen a lifetime’s worth of dead things, but he’d never once been the cause of death.

_I bet there’s a chance Zim hasn’t gotten rid of the vampire’s body yet. I wonder if its insides look like a person’s…_

_You could always go find out._

The idea of looking at it again, after what it had done, made him feel sick.

“Dib.” He was brought back to reality by Gaz’s firm voice.

“I…took care of it.” The older sibling muttered. “Everything is fine now.”

“Everything is _NOT _fine!” Gaz cried, slamming a hand on the table, shaking their bowls of cereal. “Dib, do you even realize what this _sounds like?!”_

“Uhm.” He wasn’t sure what to say now. Gaz still had that horrified look on her face.

“Dib, you’re my big brother and I love you very much.” He smiled, his heart warming.

“I love you, too.” He said, happy to be reminded.

_Love is a cage!_

“Are you…” She hesitated, biting her lip. “Is this your way of trying to tell me something else?” Her eyes searched his, piercing and concerned. Something else? What could she mean? She grabbed his hand, which he’d been subconsciously biting the nails off of. “Have you been taking your meds?”

_There it is!_

Dib snatched his hand away and stood, jostling his chair and nearly knocking it over. 

“Of course I have!” He hissed.

_Liar._

“Because if you _haven’t_, I need to know.” Gaz’s voice was serious.

“I have.” Dib insisted, albeit less vehemently.

_Liiiiiiiar!_

“Okay.” She said with a sigh. “That’s good.”

Silence.

“What did you mean?” Dib asked. “About me trying to tell you something else.” He added. Gaz looked away from him, eyes falling on her half eaten breakfast.

“Nothing.” She picked the bowl up, and seeing that Dib hadn’t eaten anything, took his too. She stood and emptied them in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher. “I think you should stay home today.” Dib wanted to question her more, get an answer, but decided against it.

“Maybe you’re right…” He sighed. “I’ll stay home from school, but I can’t skip out on dog walking.” He looked at the microwave. It was almost six o’clock.

“Do you need me to stay home, too?” Gaz put the carton of milk away and walked back over to her brother, standing in front of him. Gaz was tall like Dib and her father, but the sixteen year old girl still had to tilt her chin up a bit to meet Dib’s eyes. He shook his head.

“I’ll be okay.”

“…Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Can I hug you?”

“Of course.”

Long arms wrapped around Dib’s frame, a chin on his shoulder. He breathed in the scent of Gaz’s hair, relishing in the way her warm body pressed against him.

Dib did not like physical contact. He didn’t like it as a kid, and he especially didn’t like it as an adult. Not with his history. Being forcefully restrained by doctors again and again had left a dark stain on his brain that screamed at him to run and hide whenever he felt unfamiliar hands.

Gaz was the exception. He knew and trusted her fully. She would never hurt him. At least, not now. They fought a lot when they were children, and Dib was certain there had even been a time when Gaz resented him, and maybe he had resented her a little back, but things got better as they aged and grew.

_She grew! You just learned how to keep your mouth shut._

Dib hugged Gaz back, and the two stood there in the kitchen silently for almost a minute. It was peaceful, the calmest he’d felt since he woke up.

Until his stomach betrayed him with a low grumble. Gaz pulled away with a laugh.

“Sorry, I thought you didn’t have an appetite. I can make you another bowl if you—“

“No!” Dib interrupted, a bit too forcefully. “I mean, no. That’s okay, I can do it. You should start getting ready for school.”

“It’s only six, and I don’t really feel like running now.” Gaz informed him. “If you need to be alone just tell me. I mean, I could understand why.” Her gentle tone was starting to make him uncomfortable. He did not like it when people acted different from how they normally did. Gaz normally spoke apathetically or sarcastically, playfully or furiously, but rarely ever soft or gentle. Like she was talking to a dying flame that would blow out if she expelled too much air.

“I’m a bit overwhelmed, but hanging out with the dogs will help.” Dib reassured her. “I just need some space, I guess. It’s…a lot.” Gaz nodded in understanding. She gave him one last analytical look before heading back upstairs, telling him he’d better charge his stupid phone.

“I broke it, so message me on discord if you need me!” He called after her.

“Okay!” She responded, and he heard her bedroom door shut.

Dib let out a long sigh, turning around to face the dreaded fridge again.

_I have to find out._

He walked up to it and placed his hand on the handle again, taking a deep breath.

_Okay. I can do this. It’s just FOOD. All I have to do is eat something, and I’ll know._

…

He opened it.

xxx

For the second time that morning, Dib threw up. He rested his cheek against the cold porcelain of the toilet seat, panting hard. Another bout of nausea ripped through him and he lifted his head back up to retch again. He stared down at the contents of the toilet. His not even partly digested sandwich chunks told him what he needed to know.

“It’s true…” He whimpered, turning away and hugging his knees to his chest. “I can’t eat…”

_“Well, maybe you’re just too stressed and it’s making you sick. That’s a thing that happens sometimes.”_

Dib thought about it.

“Maybe…” He sighed, standing up on wobbling legs. He flushed the toilet, used the sink to splash water in his face, and rinsed his mouth out. “You were being a real asshole earlier.” He glared at the mirror. “Now you want to be helpful?” His reflection grinned deviously back at him.

_“Maybe.”_

Dib rolled his eyes. Whatever, he had work to do.

xxx

“Dib-beast?” Zim tilted his head up to look at Dib from his doorway. “What are you doing here?” Behind the alien, GIR barreled forward, nearly knocking Dib down.

“WALK! WALK! WALK!” The little robot cried excitedly, a hot pink leash in his hands. Dib took it from the pseudo-dog and clipped it to his collar.

“What do you mean? It’s a weekday.” GIR ran around Dib’s long legs in circles, and Dib had to keep stepping over the leash so he wouldn’t get tangled.

“Er, I just thought since…” Zim frowned, a gloved hand coming up to scratch at his wig. “…since what happened, the Dib might take a day off. You’re late anyway.”

“I’m okay.” Dib told him, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. “I’m taking the day off school, but I can’t skip out on work. I got caught up at home, but I’m here now.” The taller boy looked down at GIR fondly. “I know how he gets when he doesn’t get walked.” He bent down to scratch behind one of the robot’s fake ears, and when he looked up Zim’s lips were tight, cheeks slightly tinted lavender. “What?” Dib furrowed his brow, unsure of what that look was for. It wasn’t the first time Zim had made that face.

“Nothing.” The irken huffed, crossing his arms. “Very well. If you wish to further overexert yourself, by all means. I couldn’t care less.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dib grumbled, checking GIR’s collar to make sure it was tight enough. No way did he want a repeat of the last time GIR got out of it. When he was satisfied, he stood back up to his full height and gave the leash a gentle but firm tug. “C’mon, GIR. We gotta go get the other guys.”

“YAY SNACKS!” He screeched in reply, hopping up and down.

“_Not_ snacks.” Dib corrected. “Dogs aren’t for eating.” He glanced over at Zim again, who still had that expression as if he couldn’t decide if he was annoyed, disgusted, or embarrassed. “See you, Spaceboy.” Dib said, and started walking down the sidewalk, GIR trailing along side him. Zim murmured something Dib couldn’t make out in reply and shut the front door.

The next house wasn’t far from Zim’s base. He walked up the driveway and fished the spare key out of his coat pocket. Zim was the only “dog” owner that hadn’t given Dib a key. All the other owners worked early in the morning, so they were never home to answer the door. He was greeted by a little yorkie dog with a blue collar when he unlocked the front door, and he quickly picked up the leash left for him on the porch to clip it to the dog.

“Hey, Cinnamon!” He rubbed the little thing’s head lovingly. “Ready for your walk?” The ball of fur yipped happily at Dib, then sniffed all over GIR, who was tugging on his leash to keep walking. Dib shut the door and relocked it before walking to the next house. He picked up a golden retriever, a black and white shitzu mix, a white pit bull, and a brindle boxer from the next few homes.

Dib walked idly along the side of the street, adjusting his grip on the many leashes in his hands every so often.

“Yeah, so I’m honestly not sure what his deal is.” Dib said to the dogs, who were sniffing at anything and everything they walked past. “I mean, Zim is _always _weird. But like, he’s not _nice. _You know?”

“Master is nice to me!” GIR chirped, lagging behind the other dogs a little to walk beside Dib. He blinked down at him.

“Mm, yeah that’s true.” He agreed. “But he wasn’t always.” GIR didn’t say anything to that, instead shrugging and staring ahead with his dolly eyes. “He’s…different, right?” He asked GIR. The robot looked up at him with his blank face. “Like, from how he used to be.”

“Master is sad.” GIR squeaked. “I worry ‘bout that boy so much!” Dib turned the corner, having to tug the yorkie a bit so he wouldn’t piss on someone’s mailbox.

“Go in the grass.” He told him, guiding him away from the neighbor’s yard. He waited for him to do his business, then waited for the other dogs to go right on top of it. “Weirdos…” He muttered, watching the boxer kick up grass with her back paws. “I’d be sad too if my leaders abandoned me.” Dib sighed, watching as GIR hiked up his leg, as if he could actually piss like a normal dog. “It wouldn’t bother me as much if he started acting like this when he first figured it out, because that would have made some sense, but now? That was three years ago. Why is he being nicer _now_?”

_Maybe he feels sorry for you. Since you’re so fucking pathetic._

“Zim doesn’t feel sorry.” Dib grumbled. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him apologize for anything.” He dug a handful of treats from his back pocket, and when he pulled them out, all the dogs crowded around him eagerly. “Good dogs! Good potty!” He praised them. “Now, sit.” He ordered. All of them but the retriever did as they were told. “Come on, George.” He waved the little bone shaped treat around. “Sit.” He did, and Dib happily gave each dog their reward. “Here, GIR.” He handed the pseudo-dog his treat last, who gobbled it up with a happy squeal.

“TASTES LIKE A HOBO!” Dib shook his head with a soft chuckle and untied the doggy bag tied to the boxer’s leash. He cleaned up after the dogs and they walked to the park, where he threw away the bag in the designated trash can. Normally Dib would turn around and start heading back by now, but since he didn’t have to worry about making it to school on time, he sat down on one of the swings. GIR hopped up on the one next to him, kicking his little legs to gain some momentum. Dib let go of his leash so that it wouldn’t interfere, and rested his elbows on his thighs, chin in his hands, the other dog leashes wrapped around his wrists.

“You guys have it easy.” He said to the dogs, who had laid down in front of him and GIR, some of them rolling around in the grass. “You don’t have to worry about anything.” His stomach grumbled, and he grimaced. “I keep expecting to crave it…” He mumbled, nibbling on his bottom lip. He used his teeth to tug away a bit of chapped skin, and ran his tongue along the rawness it left behind. Metallic. It tasted no different. No better than before, nor did it make him want more of it. “I don’t get it.” He looked at the shitzu mix, who stared back with fur covered eyes. “What do you think, Chubbs?” Chubbs licked his chaps and laid his head down on his paws. “Maybe you’re right.” He looked at the pitbull, who was on her back. “How about you, Lilly?” She rolled onto her side and lolled her long pink tongue out of her mouth. “Hmm, good input.” Next he turned to the boxer, who was sitting with her back pressed against his legs. He patted her head affectionately. “Have anything to say, Hazel?” He asked her, tilting his head to the side. In response she just groaned and scratched her ear with her hind leg. “Same.” He sighed. “Got anything to add, Cinnamon? George?” They ignored him. “Alright then.” Dib used his feet to sway forwards and backwards on the swing. The cold air stung his cheeks and he shivered, tugging up his coat collar.

“Master was worried about you.” GIR said, so softly that it caught Dib off guard. Dib glanced at him to see that the little robot had stopped swinging and was instead chewing on the end of his leash. Dib stood up and took it out of his mouth, slipping the loop back around his wrist with the others.

“Let’s go.” Dib ordered, wearing a pinched expression.

_Why doesn’t that sit well with me?_

_…_

“Ugh. _Not _helpful.” He muttered, and GIR looked up at him curiously. “Not you.” Dib reassured him.

“You talkin’ to yourself again?” GIR questioned, though there was no judgement in his words.

“Er…Something like that…”

_Ha!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was really therapeutic for me to write. Dib’s thoughts/voices are based on my own experiences, so I hope I got across what I was going for. Things are supposed to be a bit weird right now, as I’m trying to slowly reveal the kind of character Dib really is. Sorry if it seems confusing! It’s supposed to be.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’ve spent the last month planning and writing this fic, and I’m so happy to finally get the prologue out! This fic is very personal to me. I’m using it to vent, so please be gentle. I’m going through some shit and this is helping me work through it.


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